If you want your marriage to change, YOU must change. Not your spouse. You may not like that, but there is tremendous happiness in that statement. Most couples are unhappy because they become codependent upon the other to change first.
Waiting or expecting your partner to change is a recipe for failure and frustration. Learning the skills of happiness and understanding that happiness is a system will change your way of life.
Your awareness of systems and intimacy will turn your frustrations into happiness and gratitude. Here are two kinds of marriages to consider, which one do you most resemble?
- The Disaster Marriage
- The Master Marriage
| Disaster | Master |
|---|---|
| Not friendly | Best Friends |
| Criticize each other | Seek understanding first |
| Partner is always wrong | Partner is your key to success |
| Stonewall | Talk it out |
| Superior feelings | Equally yoked |
| Get stuck in the argument | Can move past it quickly |
| Stuck in negativity | Can see the positive and laugh |
| Don't know your partner | Have road map of partner (likes/ambitions, etc.) |
| Don't listen | Good listening skills |
| You are always right, WHO | Both focus on WHAT is right |
| Blame your partner | InteresTED in your partner |
| Often get angry or frustrated w/partner | Rarely get angry, can laugh at yourself |
If you want to achieve any kind of intimacy, you must learn the skills of developing trust and respect within your marriage. Saying "I do" over the altar does not give you a right of passage for happiness anymore than producing children bestows upon you great wisdom, patience, and parenting skills.
It's possible that your family of origin has played a strong role in your current communication skills. For better or for worse. In fact, some tendencies are a result of trying not to be like your parents and the pendulum swing further than you wanted. Coaching will focus on the good traits and remove the harmful habits you learned growing up.
If you want to start the process of happiness within your marriage, go to www.trustinmarriage.com
to learn more and be sure to study the Conditions of Satisfaction.