Tag Archives: Teenagers

Free Trust In Parenting Lessons

Are you frustrated with how you communicate with your children. It doesn’t matter if they are 6, 16, 26, or 56.

The space we share with our children is precious and can be full of great memories.

The foundation of that space is love. It’s argued that a parent’s love is unconditional.

But love is not enough for obedience and success. In order for obedience, success, growth, and conflict resolution, a skill set equipped with trust, respect and effective communication skills are required.

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3 Steps to Eliminating Cash Flow Frustration

It’s 5:30 AM on a cold misty winter day and it’s another mind over mattress battle.  My blanket is tucked tightly under my chin. It’s warm inside my covers and cold outside.

Mike and Tim are going to be waiting for me at 6 AM for our run. If I don’t show up there will be heck to pay.

During my teenage years and even into my twenties I was nocturnal. As time went on I realized my productivity was a function of my sleeping habits. I wanted greater productivity more than I wanted to stay up at night so I agreed to fight the battle of mind over mattress.

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Brown M&Ms in Parenting

Yesterday I posted a blog on how brown M&Ms hinder sales and business. Here’s the story.

Remember the rock band Van Halen? On tour, the band would show up with nine 18-wheelers full of gear. Because of the technical complexity, the band’s standard contract for venues was thick and convoluted.  It required the venue’s stagehands to pay close attention the contract’s details in order to properly prep for the band’s arrival.  If the venue did not do their due diligence in reading the contract it compromised Van Halens’ ability to setup in time for the show.

In a stroke of genius, Van Halen’s lead singer, David Lee Roth, embedded an obscure clause in the middle of the contract that became known as clause 126 and read something like this: “There will be no brown M&Ms in the backstage area, upon pain of forfeiture of the show, with full compensation.”

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The Curse of Knowledge

As we rounded the corner Stuart proudly pedaled his bike ahead of the family down the hill towards our house. As he picked up speed I could see impending doom as two cars were converging on the intersection my 3-year old son was approaching.

For the past 2 weeks since I allegedly taught Stuart how to ride his two-wheeler, Stuart has been riding his bicycle all over our back yard, which at the time was the 9th hole of our local golf course.

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The Me Pyramid

Effective communication is the skill of knowing what not to do as well as know what to do. Part of learning the skill of effective communication is knowing why certain things don’t work. As a kid, many adults were adamant in telling me what not to do, but it took years of trial and error before the why kicked in.

The Me Pyramid™ is a summary of many learned habits and skills from our childhood. Ineffective habits and skills. It the communication system of our parents, teachers, leaders, grandparents, and other significant people who participated in molding us.

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Parenting Beyond Fear

Parenting Beyond Fear

In speaking with hundreds of parents who have teenagers, I’ve detected a common emotion the vast majority of them share with each other – fear. Parents fear their teenagers. They fear speaking with them. They fear their responses, and they fear what their kids will do next.

After years of research in the field of sales, the common denominator among failed salespeople is the inability to change. They are afraid of doing what really works! There isn’t a sliver of difference between what drives the behavior in salespeople and parents.

Here is a three-step strategy for overcoming your fears.

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3 Things Parents Should Never Do…Part 3

Three Things Parents Should Never Do When Communicating with Teenagers

Part 3

There are three things a parent should avoid when communicating with their precious minds full of mush (teenagers).

  1. Never seek agreement
  2. Never justify
  3. Never blame

Blaming can often been seen as a hierarchal struggle for survival in a family, from the oldest sibling down to the youngest child. In our family the dog is in play and some years ago, blaming escalated to such a level that Cheri and I discovered a resident ghost named Ralph causing all sorts of mischief in our home.

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3 Things Parents Should Never Do…Part 2

Three Things Parents Should Never Do When Communicating with Teenagers

Part 2: Never Justify

There are three things a parent should avoid when communicating with their precious minds full of mush (teenagers).

  1. Never seek agreement
  2. Never justify
  3. Never blame

One definition for justify is to fill a space evenly or form a straight edge. To align with a true line.

Have you ever been late to a meeting? Remember the thoughts going through your mind as you exceeded the speed the limit in an attempt to make up for poor planning? Every slow vehicle is registered as a cause for tardiness.

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I Hate You Dad

“I Hate You Dad!”

Sometimes we, as a society, use judging terms meant to offend, displace or remove responsibility. It usually occurs out of guilt or shame for doing something we know we shouldn’t.

Have you ever heard a child complain to his/her mother and by saying: “Hey mom, stop freakin’ out” when they get caught doing something outside the appropriate behavioral boundaries of the home?

Here is a suggestion on how to handle such offspring.

When children use terms that judge: “Mom stop freakin’ out!” First, have them clarify what the word freakin‘ means.

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3 Things Parents Should Never Do When Communicating with Teenagers

Three Things Parents Should Never Do When Communicating with Teenagers

Part 1: Never Seek Agreement

There are three things a parent should avoid when communicating with their precious minds full of mush (teenagers).

  1. Never seek agreement
  2. Never justify
  3. Never blame

When communicating, the #1 rule is that you are 100 percent responsible for gaining understanding, not for being understood. There is a difference. It is not incumbent upon your child to decipher your words and meaning.

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