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Tag Archives: Avoid fighting
Family Relations and Video Games-Round 2
A few weeks ago for date night, Cheri, Sam and I decided to spend it playing Wii. Revenge was all I could think about after getting ko’d by Samuel in the first round on Christmas. My confidence was shaken, but not stirred. I was ready.
I hadn’t practice any in front of the Wii box, but I did study Sam playing the computer before our big match. Being the gracious champion that he is, Sam coached me on a few points and required me to take the tutorial lesson again.
Posted in Communication, Family
Tagged Avoid fighting, Effective Communication, Parenting
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How to handle an Angry Person
Here is a link to an article written by Jacques Werth, the founder and President of High Probability Selling™.
Jacques has been my teacher and mentor for many years now and I ‘m fortunate to be associated with him.
Enjoy.
Posted in Communication
Tagged Arguing, Avoid fighting, Communication, Effective Communication
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BOD Family
Think back over the last few financial discussions you had in your home. When did they occur? Where did they occur? Who was present? What was going on? The same questions apply to any sensitive topic in your home: children, intimacy, in-laws, or religion.
For most of us, we usually discuss such topics during a commercial on TV or between rounds with the children. We don’t put a lot of thought or effort into scheduling time to discuss matters of importance like our mortgage, our retirement, and most importantly our family relations. When was the last time you scheduled time just to spend with your spouse?
Posted in Communication, Family
Tagged Avoid fighting, Board Of Directors, BOD, Conflict, Effective Communication, Family, Parenting, Systems
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The Jockey and the Elephant
As humans we have two driving forces, they are:
- Mind
- Heart
Let’s liken the mind to a jockey and the heart to an elephant. As long as the elephant wants to go where the jockey wants to go, there is harmony within the human. However, when the elephant becomes rogue, looses control, gets sidetracked, or flies off the handle, the jockey must go along for the ride.
According to Forrest Gump, life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what’s going to happen next. However, if the elephant is trained and obeys the jockey, all the chocolates are the square caramel ones.
Posted in Communication, Family
Tagged Arguing, Avoid fighting, Communication, Conflict, Effective Communication, Emotions, Mind vs. Heart
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Parent’s Pain Priority Plan
Parenting is a shuffling act when things go well, but when life backs up like bad plumbing, even chaos is a welcomed friend. What each parent needs is a Parenting plan that prioritizes what will inevitably come – pain. Pain me now or pain me later. The one certain aspect of parenting is that you will have pain.
It’s 25 minutes past bed time and your 8 year-old-crumb-crunchin’ piece of energy gets out of bed and taps you on the shoulder as you finally settle down to watch your favorite TV program.
Decision time: pain avoidance or pain priority.
The Curse of Knowledge
As we rounded the corner Stuart proudly pedaled his bike ahead of the family down the hill towards our house. As he picked up speed I could see impending doom as two cars were converging on the intersection my 3-year old son was approaching.
For the past 2 weeks since I allegedly taught Stuart how to ride his two-wheeler, Stuart has been riding his bicycle all over our back yard, which at the time was the 9th hole of our local golf course.
The Me Pyramid
Effective communication is the skill of knowing what not to do as well as know what to do. Part of learning the skill of effective communication is knowing why certain things don’t work. As a kid, many adults were adamant in telling me what not to do, but it took years of trial and error before the why kicked in.
The Me Pyramid™ is a summary of many learned habits and skills from our childhood. Ineffective habits and skills. It the communication system of our parents, teachers, leaders, grandparents, and other significant people who participated in molding us.
Posted in Communication
Tagged Avoid fighting, Communication, Effective Communication, Parenting skills, Teenagers
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The Art of Giving and Receiving Criticism
Years ago I sat through an exciting series of classes by Dr. John Lund, an expert on family relationships and effective communication. Here is an excerpt from my notes. You can also find more information in his book “How To Hug A Porcupine”
THE ART OF GIVING CRITICISM
Dr. J. Lund’s Quick Check Guide
STEP ONE:
Before you speak ask yourself two questions:
- Is the Criticism a part of my stewardship or my business?
- Is the Criticism not only true, but is it necessary?
STEP TWO:
Posted in Communication, Family
Tagged Arguing, Avoid criticism, Avoid fighting, Communication, Conflict, Criticism, Effective Communication
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3 Things Parents Should Never Do…Part 3
Three Things Parents Should Never Do When Communicating with Teenagers
Part 3
There are three things a parent should avoid when communicating with their precious minds full of mush (teenagers).
- Never seek agreement
- Never justify
- Never blame
Blaming can often been seen as a hierarchal struggle for survival in a family, from the oldest sibling down to the youngest child. In our family the dog is in play and some years ago, blaming escalated to such a level that Cheri and I discovered a resident ghost named Ralph causing all sorts of mischief in our home.
Posted in Communication, Family
Tagged Avoid fighting, Conflict, Effective Communication, Family, Teaching, Teenagers
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Ineffective Communication is Expensive and Causes Stress
Ineffective Communication is Expensive and Causes Stress
There are 550 million working days lost each year because of absenteeism. Experts claim that stress is responsible for half of those days. Stress attacks the immune system, elevates your blood pressure, and directly affects health costs.
Of all the maladies and symptoms going on in the work place, employers and managers give stress the shortest shrift. Stressed employees avoid coming to work, they avoid confrontation, they cannot resolve conflict and as a result progress is halted. They become contentious.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention asserts that a full 80 percent of our medical expenditures are now stress-related.
Posted in Communication, Family
Tagged Arguing, Avoid fighting, Cause of Divorce, Collusion, Conflict, Effective Communication, Stress
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