Tag Archives: Agreement vs understanding

Parent’s Pain Priority Plan

Posted on March 4, 2010 by Richard Himmer

Parenting is a shuffling act when things go well, but when life backs up like bad plumbing, even chaos is a welcomed friend. What each parent needs is a Parenting plan that prioritizes what will inevitably come – pain. Pain me now or pain me later. The one certain aspect of parenting is that you will have pain.

It’s 25 minutes past bed time and your 8 year-old-crumb-crunchin’ piece of energy gets out of bed and taps you on the shoulder as you finally settle down to watch your favorite TV program.

Decision time: pain avoidance or pain priority.  Read more... (769 words, estimated 3:05 mins reading time)

This is a preview of Parent’s Pain Priority Plan. Read the full post (769 words, estimated 3:05 mins reading time)
Posted in Communication, Family | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Carl’s 4 Steps to Effective Communication

Posted on February 15, 2010 by Richard Himmer

Dr. Wayne Diamond taught me that the definition of communication is the search of understanding. The opposite of this is to seek agreement. When we seek agreement we are not listening and we are manipulating. Seeking agreement is another way of saying that you express your opinion without being asked.

How long can you go in a conversation without expressing your opinion? Most folks I’ve challenged to go 24 hours don’t last through the first conversation.

So what is the secret to communicating without the intent to gain agreement? I recently invaded a tweet-sation (conversation of tweets) between Carl Ingalls and my son Charles.  Read more... (563 words, estimated 2:15 mins reading time)

This is a preview of Carl’s 4 Steps to Effective Communication. Read the full post (563 words, estimated 2:15 mins reading time)
Posted in Communication | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments

Searching for Agreement in School and in the Home

Posted on January 22, 2010 by Richard Himmer

Searching for Agreement in the Classroom and in the Home

During my High School years, whenever we had a substitute it was another way of turning the dogs loose. We tore the teacher to pieces. That is unless the substitute carried boundaries into the classroom. Pity the poor teacher that started class trying to be nice and friendly. That’s like dangling a bleeding lamb over a starving den of lions.

Parents of toddlers find themselves torn between wanting to surrender to the cuteness of their offspring and knowing that the word “brat” is another name for a child raised with no discipline. Not only do brats create stress in others – they themselves are unhappy.  Read more... (533 words, estimated 2:08 mins reading time)

This is a preview of Searching for Agreement in School and in the Home. Read the full post (533 words, estimated 2:08 mins reading time)
Posted in Family | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment