Category Archives: Divorce

Trust is a greater compliment than being loved

Love makes the world go around, variety is the spice of life, and trust is a greater compliment than being loved. Consider the analogy of driving your car. When you fill up your tank with gas, you are starting the relationship with love. It’s combustible, flammable, and can produce intense feelings of passion and anger.

Trust, on the other hand, is like oil in your engine. When the emotions of passion are intense, a high trust relationship (oil) reduces the friction and cools the engine. Without oil, the engine will overheat and stop running. The higher the trust, the cooler, smoother, and faster the ride.

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Will Your Marriage Last?

I just listened to a short interview with Dr. John Gottman, a leading expert on why marriages succeed and fail.

Here are my notes summarized into 2 columns. He bases his research upon what he calls the Masters, those who succeed in their marriages. And then compares them against the Disasters, those who don’t. He made an interesting remark that is noteworthy. He explained that conflict resolution isn’t a root cause to success, rather it’s a symptom of friendship. When a married couple views each other as friends not foes, they can easily resolve conflict without guilt, blame, or grudges.

Posted in Communication, Divorce, Marriage | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

What vs. How

Effective communication is at the heart of a healthy family life. Financial well-being, marriage, and the success of children are all related to your level of communication skills. The vast majority of teenage misbehavior and marital frustrations can be solved with effective communication skills.

Communication skills are not passed through your DNA like red hair. They are skills that are studied, learned, and mastered. This is a life-long process that doesn’t stop with learning a singular tool or concept. The process requires constant attention and practice.

Try Different not Harder

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