It’s 5:30 AM on a cold misty winter day and it’s another mind over mattress battle. My blanket is tucked tightly under my chin. It’s warm inside my covers and cold outside.
Mike and Tim are going to be waiting for me at 6 AM for our run. If I don’t show up there will be heck to pay.
During my teenage years and even into my twenties I was nocturnal. As time went on I realized my productivity was a function of my sleeping habits. I wanted greater productivity more than I wanted to stay up at night so I agreed to fight the battle of mind over mattress.
I don’t always win. There are days the mattress TKOs my mind. But those days come fewer are further in-between.
One of those misty mornings driving past the High School, it dawned on me that many of the student’s cars are more expensive than mine. I’m okay with that as I’m not that big into cars. It was only an observation.
What I found interesting was the math calculating in my mind. So many of our children are in a state of teenage retirement compliments of us, their parents. Giving handouts to children with no accountability or responsibility conditions them with false expectations.
Here is a snapshot of my mind calculations as a monthly expense:
- Car insurance $175
- Cell phone $50
- Car payment $500 (average observed value ~ $30 k)
This is a monthly total of $725. Let’s assume this parenting habit commences at 16 years old and continues through 4 years of college. The total cost to the parents during retirement with three children, is a little under one million dollars (assuming a 5% opportunity cost).
There are only three things you can do with money:
- Spend it
- Save it
- Invest it
By mastering the first two, you will almost never need the 3rd.
Master your spending habits is the best solution for cash flow frustrations. It is also the least expensive and least risky.
Here are three steps to gain control over your finances:
- Acknowledge what you want.
- Determine you will take the necessary steps.
- Do it.
If you want to have control over money instead of the other way around it’s mind over mattress. It’s much easier to stay in bed at 5:30 AM on a cold misty morning.
Getting up, dressed, and running in the cold isn’t easy, but it’s possible. However it’s impossible to describe how good I feel after the run. Just like having control of your finances – imagine the feeling.
Until you actually face your challenge head on, your frustration will deepen, fester and eventually explode. Here are the consequences I see when you avoid the conflict of cash flow control:
- Marital contention
- Debts don’t get paid off
- Possible divorce
- Children learn welfare principals (teenage retirement)
- Children think they have a right to the nice things in life
- Children don’t understand the importance of boundaries
- Children have marital problems
Giving your teenagers freebies under the guise of parenting is problematic. Too many parents today think that being a friend is part of parenting. It isn’t!
Parenting can produce a friendship, but friendship never produces parenting. Being a friend before being a parent is a recipe for disaster: at home, at work, and at play.
It boils down to what you want. Create a Spending Plan and win the daily battle.