There are 3 ingredients in the Recipe for Success:
- Desire
- Knowledge
- Skills
Take away one ingredient and the recipe will fail. For example, let’s say I want to become a professional golfer. My desire is strong. I read, think, talk, dream, and sleep golf 24/7.
I subscribe to every golf publication on earth, in two languages. I watch every tournament, and I personally walk the entire Masters each year following the leaders around, golfers like Tiger Woods and Phil Mickleson.
I study the game. I can quote every statistic by heart. I know which club Tiger would hit in almost any given situation. On weekends I’ve caddied for a few local professional tournaments and have received many compliments for my game knowledge.
I can read a green like a blind man can read Braille. I can explain how to slice or hook a fairway shot. I can even tell you how to back up your ball on the green. My understanding of the golf rules is only surpassed by the rulebook. I’m the Ann Landers of golf etiquette.
I have one weakness in my drive to become one of golf’s legends: I don’t golf. I don’t even own a set of clubs. I can quote, cite, explain, and tell you anything about golf you want to know, but I’ve never hit a ball.
How many parents claim they want to become good parents but have no knowledge? How many classes on effective parenting does the average couple take in a year? How many books on effective communicating or parenting does the average parent read?
Most of our marriage and parenting skills are trial and error with our first errors imitating our parents. Using only the knowledge and skills from your parents is a guarantee you will struggle or fail.
The development of skills requires practice and someone to hold you accountable. Very few people can read about a skill and then master it without a coach or mentor. Even the best, Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Apolo Ohno, and Lyndsie Vonn all have coaches.
Of all the things we as humans could be improving, the last thing on our minds seem to be how to get along with those we most love. Improving your communication skills should be seen as a compliment, not an embarrassment. Look at it as an intervention to success.