As humans we have two driving forces, they are:
- Mind
- Heart
Let’s liken the mind to a jockey and the heart to an elephant. As long as the elephant wants to go where the jockey wants to go, there is harmony within the human. However, when the elephant becomes rogue, looses control, gets sidetracked, or flies off the handle, the jockey must go along for the ride.
According to Forrest Gump, life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what’s going to happen next. However, if the elephant is trained and obeys the jockey, all the chocolates are the square caramel ones.
When the elephant is in charge there is chaos. Life becomes random and the consequences of the elephant’s wants are too expensive for the account balance of the human. Turning control over to the elephant is pain avoidance.
Since the elephant can’t see the forest for the trees, the moment she perceives an obstacle, she goes around it or even over it. Obstacles are seen as enemies and not opportunities for growth.
When the jockey is in control, there is a logical sequence to the events in life. This is pain priority. When the unexpected occurs, the jockey can navigate the obstacle laden-course with directness and without losing control.
Let’s apply the Recipe for Success to our analogy:
- Desire = Elephant
- Knowledge = Jockey
- Skills = Elephant and Jockey working in harmony
The ability to become an effective spouse or parent is putting the elephant into a serving and therefore secondary position. The jockey’s role is to use the strengths of the elephant: compassion, mercy, and generosity in harmony with a well-planned system.
This is a team effort, and both heart and mind must be in harmony. The mind is the presiding officer and the heart obeys the mind as long as the mind operates with the benefit of the whole as his goal or vision.