Have you ever told your child to try harder? Or said “you’re not doing enough?” Mom and dad, have you ever considered that the child is already trying hard?
What if you teach the child how to try different. What if you try a new system?
The usual mantra is to ‘try harder’. Trying harder is impossible when you’re already trying as hard as you can.
But you can always try different.
Sometime ago, Cheri and I were having a difficult time getting our two youngest boys up in the morning. We tried very hard to instill in them the importance of getting up on time. Scott had to arise at 5:15 AM and Samuel was scheduled to arise at 7:30 AM.
Scott’s approach was to increase the number and volume of alarm clocks. He got up to 3 and he still doesn’t know how to turn them off. The only success he had was getting Samuel up, who then came into our bed.
We decided to try different. Instead of focusing attention on getting up, we focused on going to bed.
Result? Improvement. We focused different and got involved. Here are the steps we took:
- We held a BOD – planning
- We spent time with the boys at bedtime – Present tense parenting
- We held them accountable – boundary protection which increases trust and respect.